tamming my mind

it's usual that there is a constant quarrel between my mind and heart. i now urge the need to tame my mind to accept certain things even which is regrettable !

dreamwalking!

its not exactly dreamwalking though. but in recent time i'v been suffering from insomnia. and as of its consequence - i'm dreaming a lot. the problem is, i have lost my grip on what is reality and what is dream. i am a diehard fan of the movie inception and i'v watched it for more than a fifty times. i don't really know whether this is an impact of that movie. but if it was it must have happened way too long. the most crucial part is, i don't know what to react to some events in life as of the uncertainty caused by the loss of grip between reality and fantasy!

#debugging mode

Strike the iron when its hot! Its never too late to start.
I have heard these many a many times, and eventually got tired of analyzing these through and through.  But now i have a gut feeling that i'm actually experiencing it real time. attaboy!
In the early stage of my college life i was named as a playboy(no intention of boasting) and all those crap. But you know what they call me now? A Saint. Why don't they. Ever since the fall of final year the explicit truth is that many are deceived by love n lust, or atleast gone a step further as a chat-bug.
 While I belong to the group of the few exceptional cases, who are completely disconnected from 'those' events. My case is rather different though. Being called as a candid easy-to-move guy formerly, what caused the change that i'm now a loner with a boner? The answer is more easy to say if i happen to blame everything to fate. To cut short its better to assume that way; though it pains inside me of knowing the truth behind. many was of course the consequences of my own mistakes, but thinking deep whether i deserve this much, i'm left all alone questioning myself. Some say that i'm only punishing more by seeing things in the wrong way. It's a battle between my Mind and Guilt and the latter is too strong to leave me at peace. Nothing i could do but pity myself.
   Now thinking of extracting the positives from it, i'm now trying to be more studious as i'm left with nothing but just my laptop and me. I got bored of all the activities that every other 'guys' do with his laptop. To kill time i surf a lot. As of a sudden when nothing seems to be interesting, and i feel the nerd inside me pulling to its very end. Though i took more than enough time to reach at this dead-end. But it's good that i someway urged the need for it, fair and square. There is still a long way to travel and i dono whether again my shifting interests-o-phobia drifts me to another angle. What ever it might be, i'v now entered debugging mode to correct all my mistakes and frame necessary protocols and algorithms for future perspective.

fcuk blogger

i wish i could keep my inner feelings for self!! but you bitch blogger had posted my blog in g+ without my intension :/ i could have atleast be informed about your silly connection between my g+ account. Blogger u betrayed me :O Now go ahead and do me a favor by publishing this. I'm no longer gonna share my feelings with ya !
Babye.

On the move

I'v started the initiative of creating a responsive webpage exclusive for my department, IT. There is no such website for specific departments in our college. i wish that this could lead to innovative dispersion among other departments.

So far So less

    Well I'm just that normal guy whom u'l never notice in a crowded street. I believe that complexion is not that matters all in one's life. So by now yu could have concluded how i must look.

    All through my life i'v neva had a fixed desire or ambition. They have kept on changing every pass of the day. I don't know exactly why is that. But eventually i lose my grip for some reasons.
Having completed my high school in 2011, i had openings for many reputed colleges around tamil nadu. I could have stayed in my city(chennai) and choose a fitting college for me or just drop-in to the college where my herd of friends headed. But rather i choose Thiagarajar College of Engineering as suggested by J.P.Gandhi(fuck u dickhole), in madurai, a down-south village named as city.

    And moreover to mull at the truth, i hated to step into corporate life. And yes of-course the game of life played its part and i'm finally taken Information Technology department in TCE.
There involved killing a lot of pain after making that decision from the mandatory homesickness to losing my only g.f. i  had in my city. ahh..fuck that. That's a long story to tell. to cut short, i fell in a place where nothing seems to interest me.

    Three years have passed and looking back at the trails that i'v left, honestly there are none but just boredom and weeping stories.

    There is this one thing but. I wished that i would someday make an android app that would become so popular among the tce'ians and make me proud too. It was that energetic mind in the 1st week of college startup that initiated andro-idea. Ultimately it faded away as i was in business to clear all my backup paper of the previous semesters. It was like a routine. Followed sem after sem.
Now in this final year where placement stress keeps hitting my head constantly, i urged the need to do something good before i leave this college.